Oh, man.
It was hard choosing a name. I had about a dozen ideas for naming this blog. I couldn't think of any that really captured the essence of what I was thinking, but I finally settled on Ten Fifty-Two because of the short story in Mark 10 of a man named Bartimaeus.
In the NIV, it reads:
46 Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”
So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
Like all cancer patients, I want to believe that God will choose to heal me. I'm not naïve to think that everyone who has faith is healed. This world has suffering and there's no denying that. But, I am hopeful that when I've humbly asked God for more time to raise my children, that he has said yes.
Throughout this walk, I have had uncanny events and little miracles happen that have led me to believe that he just might do that, but there are a few things I love about this story other than the miracle.
First, I love that Jesus sees the man's desperation and his complete faith. Bart- can I call him Bart? The full name is hard to spell. Bart knew how he was perceived by yelling at Jesus. He knew that people were going to rebuke him. He didn't care because he knew Jesus was his only hope.
And Jesus had compassion for him.
The next two things I love about this story are in the final two verses. First, Jesus heals the man, but he still gives him the choice to not follow him. Some translations say "go your own way," some say "go," but the message is clear. He doesn't tell him, "come." Jesus healed the man but didn't ask him to do anything more. He gave him the choice of how to respond, just like he gives us the choice of how to respond.
Of course, my favorite part is the way Bart responds. He doesn't go, as he's told, but rather follows. In Luke, we know that he follows and goes on about glorifying God, which all the people saw and they in turn also praised God.
This sends all sorts of tinglies through my heart because if, in fact, I am healed, I want to be like Bart. I want to choose to follow after Jesus even more closely. I want to choose to glorify God for my healing. I want others to see the miracle in my life and also choose to glorify God, too.
I said once, when I stopped doing drugs and got my life together that I'd never forget what God had done for me. It's true, I haven't. But there are times when your own story gets kind of stale to you and you start to take it for granted a bit. We get a little arrogant. We get a little irreverent. We start to treat God like he's an option.
If for no other reason, I'm grateful for cancer because it reminded me once again that I'm nothing without God.
My very breath depends upon him.
So, Ten Fifty-Two was the name I inevitably chose. Absolutely, I chose it for the hope the story gives me, but I also chose it to remember how weak I am and to remember how big God is.
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